NY State of Mind

My wife is in New York for the week, which leaves me home alone. Cold. Scared. Hungry. Naked.

While she's away, there is something I get to do while she's not around. And I'm doing it non-stop. All day and all night. That's right, I'm doing nothing but...

Watching horror movies.

I've watched the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," the sequel to the remake of TCM, "The Lost Boys," and "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2". One thing I've realized from all this is that the father in the original Texas Chainsaw looks EXACTLY like my grandfather when he was younger. This is why I always liked this movie, and never really trusted good ol' Pop Pop.

And with the Halloween season upon us, I know a lot of people like to rent scary movies to get in the holiday spirit. If you're someone who does that, I strongly reccomend renting "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2". The first one is great - but you already knew that (at least you should). And while part two isn't up to par with the first, it's fascinating on a completely different level.

Watch it for the subtext - this is the only slasher movie that is about a young man's struggle with his burgeoning homosexuality.

I don't want to ruin the movie for you, but you'll be amazed when you watch it and realize I'm not kidding. In the movie, Freddy Krueger is literally trying to burst forth from the main character's body, causing all sorts of confusion and funny feelings. There's a scene where the main character is just about to get lucky with the girl who's been chasing him the whole movie. As he unbuttons her blouse, a giant Freddy tongue shoots out of his mouth and starts licking the girl's cleavage. The guy grabs his mouth and runs from the girl - and into the bedroom of his best buddy Grady.

Oh, and he also murders his gym teacher by tying him up in the shower and stripping the teacher and whipping him to death with wet towels. This is after the main character is caught at a bar by his gym teacher, who is clad in all leather S&M gear.

So that's how I'm wasting my time. I just hope my dog doesn't get too damaged from prolonged exposure to all this.