TimeWaster

Car Wars

My biggest fear in life is being buried alive.

My second biggest fear in life is going to jail.

My third biggest fear?  Sounding like a cranky 80 year old man who complains about everything.  But unfortunately, I have to put that fear aside and complain to the high heavens about the good folks at Century West BMW in Studio City, California.

It all started about 6 months ago.  My car needed an oil change.  No biggie.  Places that change your oil are so common in Los Angeles, I think they've started doing that at Pollo Loco nowadays.

But instead of taking it to the easiest, most convenient (re: CHEAP) place I could find, I decided to take it to the dealer.  Now, I've always heard that taking your car to the dealer is a sucker move - that places will do it cheaper and faster and whatnot.  But I wasn't exactly sure if my car was still under warranty or not, thus making it free at the dealership.

Well, the car isn't under warranty anymore but I had them change the oil anyway.  Okay - great, no biggie, done and done, I pick it back up and take the car home.

The next day, it won't start.

The car's not giving me even the tiniest whimper of power, the stereo won't turn on, the power locks and power windows won't even operate, none of the lights will come on at all.  Okay, so in my limited knowledge of car ins-and-outs, I know something's screwed up here.  So, since he had the car the whole day prior, I call the dealer to find out what's wrong.  

And he blames me.

Yeah.  He blames me for every single ounce of power being completely sucked out of the car in a 24 hour period, when the truth is all I did in that timespan was pick the car up and drive it 4 miles home.

So, after plenty of nasty words were exchanged, we got to the bottom of this.  Basically what had happened was that the workers dealing with my car disconnected the battery and didn't properly resecure it.  So it still had some juice running through it - about enough to power the car for a 4 mile ride home and that's it.

Okay, major hurdle solved - AAA came out and fixed it in no time flat, and didn't charge me a cent.  However, one thing that did happen - in the haste to try and get the hood open, a piece of plastic moulding on the car broke, and was left dangling off the side.

So here's the score after round one  - ME:  car fixed, minus half the plastic moulding dangling off the front.  DEALERSHIP - promised me a free auto detailing for my troubles.

Cut to - about a month later.  I'm taking the car back to the dealer to take them up on their offer for free detailing and to fix the moulding.

This is a pretty quick round.  The detailing goes fine.  The plastic moulding doesn't - apparently they didn't have the clips to fix the moulding, and I'd have to set ANOTHER appointment to do that.  Sigh.

So as I get the newly detailed car home, and certain things in the garage are shuffled around, a soda can falls to the ground and EXPLODES all over the side of my newly detailed car.  Shit.

So I quickly take the car to get cleaned at one of those drive-through car washers.  And wouldn't you know it?  As I pull through, the plastic moulding (that was scheduled to be repaired) is broken off in the car wash.

END OF ROUND TWO - ME:  clean car, plastic moulding completely 100% ripped off.  DEALERSHIP - not sweating it.

Round three begins a couple weeks later.  On top of the moulding broken off, I finally realize that the dealership never reset the countdown thing on my odometer that tells me when I need a new oil change.  On top of that, and I'm not blaming anyone in particular for this one, my passenger side window won't roll down.

So here it is today -  the start of round three.  The time for these guys to fix all my stuff, get the car back to working order, and amicably part ways.

Well, that didn't happen.  Oh sure - they fixed the window, they fixed the plastic thing, and they even reset the countdown on my oil change timer.  

But the workers broke my stereo.  

Seriously.  They demolished the docking cord for my iPod, which I just had installed about 2 months ago.  

So now I have to wait till for the dealership's management to call me in a few days and let me know how they want to proceed with this.  I'm not sure why "just handing me cold hard cash" isn't options #1, 2, and 3, but we shall see.  So in the meantime...

END OF ROUND THREE - ME:  stereo broken.  DEALERSHIP:  really starting to piss me off.

NY State of Mind

My wife is in New York for the week, which leaves me home alone. Cold. Scared. Hungry. Naked.

While she's away, there is something I get to do while she's not around. And I'm doing it non-stop. All day and all night. That's right, I'm doing nothing but...

Watching horror movies.

I've watched the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," the sequel to the remake of TCM, "The Lost Boys," and "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2". One thing I've realized from all this is that the father in the original Texas Chainsaw looks EXACTLY like my grandfather when he was younger. This is why I always liked this movie, and never really trusted good ol' Pop Pop.

And with the Halloween season upon us, I know a lot of people like to rent scary movies to get in the holiday spirit. If you're someone who does that, I strongly reccomend renting "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2". The first one is great - but you already knew that (at least you should). And while part two isn't up to par with the first, it's fascinating on a completely different level.

Watch it for the subtext - this is the only slasher movie that is about a young man's struggle with his burgeoning homosexuality.

I don't want to ruin the movie for you, but you'll be amazed when you watch it and realize I'm not kidding. In the movie, Freddy Krueger is literally trying to burst forth from the main character's body, causing all sorts of confusion and funny feelings. There's a scene where the main character is just about to get lucky with the girl who's been chasing him the whole movie. As he unbuttons her blouse, a giant Freddy tongue shoots out of his mouth and starts licking the girl's cleavage. The guy grabs his mouth and runs from the girl - and into the bedroom of his best buddy Grady.

Oh, and he also murders his gym teacher by tying him up in the shower and stripping the teacher and whipping him to death with wet towels. This is after the main character is caught at a bar by his gym teacher, who is clad in all leather S&M gear.

So that's how I'm wasting my time. I just hope my dog doesn't get too damaged from prolonged exposure to all this.