Photographs have been taken of me recently. Not naughty pictures, not candid pictures, not running a red light traffic camera photos. Regular old ordinary pictures that make me realize I need to lose a lot of weight - and fast.
So after dinner tonight I decide to hit Yogurt Zone for some super low fat, low calorie, no guilt frozen yogurt. Afterall, isn't that the reason for going to a place that sells frozen yogurt? Low fat? Low calorie? Semi-good for you? Because if that's the case, I don't think anyone told the woman in line in front of me.
First off, she orders the largest size they have. This sucker is HUGE. It's practically a full-on ice cream cake without the cake. Fortunately Yogurt Zone sells toppings with the yogurt.
First the woman orders Butterfinger bits on the yogurt. Okay, I think, that's fine. I've been known to once in a while order candy on my yogurt. I will begrudge no man or woman that. However, she takes it to the next level by yelling at the 15 year old kid behind the counter - "No! I want the big chunks! Don't give me the little pieces, I want the big pieces!" Yikes. A bit much, but whatever. The lady wants her money's worth.
Then she gets her big chunks of Butterfinger and next asks for another topping - Snickers pieces. And yes, she did ask again for the big chunks.
Okay, so to recap - she orders a pony keg's worth of frozen yogurt, topped with giant chunks of Snickers and Butterfingers. But she's not done. In order to balance out the junk food/health food quotient, she next asks for blueberries. This thing is just dripping with toppings. Snickers, Butterfingers, and now blueberries.
And she's still not done.
The woman next asks for double - DOUBLE - marshmallow topping. Double. And at this point I think I was witness to a Yogurt Zone first - a large yogurt could not handle any more toppings. The fifteen year old kids working the counter were completely flummoxed. This was a crisis - they literally could not figure out how to pack more crap on!
Finally, they packed two small containers filled with marshmallows and rang her up. And watching this was just enough to turn me off to eating dessert for the rest of my life.
But at the end of the day, my question to this woman is - why not just go to Coldstone or Baskin Robbins and just go all out? Are you really "dieting" anymore with nine Snickers bars, five Butterfingers, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's left testicle smashed in there? Just doesn't make sense.
