The Writers Are the Real Heroes
Scared yet, AMPTP?
Scared yet, AMPTP?
**-All-star celebrity status not guaranteed.
I don't spend much time out of the house, but when I do, wow! If only I had a camera with me, and if only magazines like US, People, or Star cared about celebrities from 25 years ago.
Let me set the scene for you - Apple Store, Fashion Square Mall up in Sherman Oaks. I saunter in, looking for some help when who do I spot?
Mr. John Heard
That's right. John "Mother Effing" Heard. The dad from "Home Alone". The jerk from "Big". The dean from "O". The rich guy from "White Chicks". The Governor from "Prison Break".
This guy has literally been in everything. And if he wasn't in a movie, that's because they accidentally cast John Hurt instead. As I wander past, I look to my right and who's fiddling with a brand new iPhone?
Ms. Catherine Bach
TV's Daisy Duke. And...um...well, that's more than enough isn't it?
And if you thought that was enough, you'd be wrong. Dead freakin' wrong. Standing outside of Bucca Di Beppo on the Universal Citywalk, none other than...
Mr. Terry Crews
Terry "The Dad from Everyone Hates Chris" Crews. Terry "Longest Yard" Crews. Terry "Balls of Fury" Crews. Terry "White Chicks" Crews.
So yes, that means 2 stars of "White Chicks" in one day. Contain your excitement.
I took the train down to San Diego this past weekend for Comic Con. I'll post more when I'm able to, but I felt the need to mention one thing while it's still fresh in my mind.
As I waited in line for the train back to Los Angeles Saturday night, I recognized the woman in front of me as the actress Claudia Christian. You'd probably recognize her from the show "Babylon 5" or "Relic Hunter" or "Maniac Cop 2" - basically anything starring Johnny Drama. Anyhow, she was in line with two other people, and as we waited to board the train, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. A conversation that was all about how the train was overbooked.
And that Claudia Christian DIDN'T have a ticket.
As the train finally boarded - 20 minutes late I might add - Claudia continued walking with her friends just as if she were a passenger on the train. And all the while, I thought to myself "She's just making sure her friends get on the train safetly, like a good friend would. Once they're on, I have no doubt she'll leave."
As everyone found their seats, an announcement came over the PA system - "If you didn't have a ticket, now is the time to leave, as the train is completely booked." Obviously an announcement aimed squarely at one Ms. Claudia Christian.
So the train pulled out of the station, and chugged its way towards Los Angeles. After the first stop, it became completely obvious that the train was ridiculously overbooked - the aisles were packed with standing around, not very happy to be standing on a moving train as opposed to sitting in a seat they paid for.
About three hours later, we pulled in to Los Angeles. I gathered all the ridiculous junk I purchased in San Diego and headed off to my car. And as I stepped onto the platform, who popped out of the train car in front of me?
CLAUDIA CHRISTIAN.
Guess what, CC? There's a name for people who hop on trains and travel around the country without paying for it. They're called "hobos". Congratulations Claudia Christian, you are now a officially a hobo.
So if you see Claudia Christian lurking around Los Angeles, New York, or a comic book convention near you, be careful. There's no telling what this woman's capable of - she might cook you a can of beans over a campfire and sing you a shanty, or she could stab you in your sleep and steal your bindle. My money's on the latter.
