TimeWaster

Shake, Rattle, and Whatever

I know everyone in Souther California is all abuzz about the earthquake from yesterday, but here's the thing - I'm like the one person in all of Los Angeles that didn't actually feel it!

I'm like some kind of super....powered...man.

 

Can You Break A Looney Tunes' Back?

Flipping through the cable guide, I came across the description for "Looney Tunes:  Back In Action".  For some reason, the write-up makes it sound a tad more...mature than I remembered it:

  "Bugs Bunny tries to find Daffy Duck after the latter loses his job and travels to Las Vegas with a man."

Sounds like "Grapes of Wrath" meets "Far From Heaven".  And I seriously doubt that's how they pitched it, but if they did - wow.  Greatest pitch of all time.

Ad Nauseum

I spend a lot of time complaining about TV commercials, but seriously folks - there's an epidemic on our hands here.

There are not one but TWO (yep, I capitalized it) brands advertising their product with the old Folgers "we've replaced the normal food these people eat with our crappy processed junk and they'll never know" idea.

The first one is Carl's Jr. where unsuspecting morons are absolutely thrilled to learn that their dinners weren't real meals, but rather fast food served to them on fancy plates.  I really don't get those ads - diners eat a hamburger, then a fat dude in a chef's outfit comes out to tell them they're eating junk food, and the people burst into applause.  There's even one where the guy's told he didn't really eat a fancy hamburger, but rather a $6 burger from Carl's Jr, and he pumps his fists in the air and screams "YES!!!"  Why is this guy so happy?   Did he think that hamburger cost $900 and now he's off the hook?  

The other brand pulling the ol' switcheroo is Pizza Hut, who have taken the exact same set up but instead are serving pasta and then telling people that it's not fancy pasta they're eating, it's Pizza Hut pasta.  And one yay-hoo actually says at the end of the ad "I actually like it more knowing it's from Pizza Hut!"  That's a guy I want to meet and punch repeatedly in the face, stopping only briefly to take bites from highly expensive pastas.

The only thing that would make me happier is to know that the same ad agency makes both commercials, and that they pulled off the biggest scam in ad history.  

But not everything's all piss and vinegar.  One ad I love and I really don't know why is the ad for Universal Studios, where we see people standing on the side of the road holding cardboard signs for the Unviersal rides.  I'm not sure what it is, but I think a big part of it is the lazy, carefree acoustic jam in the background that sets the perfect tone.  Or maybe it's the fact that all the people standing on the side of the road trying to hitch rides to Universal Studios Hollywood are already IN Los Angeles, and I just laugh thinking "man, those poor souls got this far and for some reason couldn't make the last half-mile trek."  

When Did The Nerds Get Dumb?

Pizza Hut and their "Pizza Mia" ads continue to rub salt in an open wound in my mind, and I don't like it one bit.

 

If you haven't seen it, I'll break it down quick for you - there's some nerdy nebbish guy giving a presentation to his colleagues at Pizza Hut, Inc where he's trying to describe his new "Pizza Hut Pizza Mia Pizza Matrix".  And it's an overlay over a calendar that blacks out days when pizzas aren't on sale or whatever.

Then the hunky, dreamy guy that I like to call "Chip" steps up, totally ridicules this guy's Pizza Matrix, rips it down and just says "Why not Pizza Mias for $5 every day?"  He does everything short of spitting in this dude's face.

Now, besides not knowing what the F a Pizza Mia is, the thing I hate about this ad is the fact that they take the nerdy, nebbishy guy who clearly put a lot of time and energy into making his "matrix" and they turn him into a moron!  Shouldn't this guy be the one with all the answers?  He's a nerd!  He has nothing better to do than think of cheap ways to sell pizzas!!!  Why is the hunky dreamy guy in this ad the know-it-all?  

In movies, this is well trodden ground.  Geeks are the smart ones and the good looking dudes are the dopes.  Classic "greeks vs. geeks" conventions set up by movies like Revenge of the Nerds and Animal House.  

And honestly - what the hell is a Pizza Mia???