TimeWaster

Amazing

Did anyone else notice that Thom Yorke....

Is really just a sleepy Clay Aiken???

I Know It When I See It

Not quite sure what the exact definition of "irony" is, and I'm way too lazy to look it up right now. But I have a feeling this falls under the category of "ironic" -

There is an organization called the "Gerontology Research Group" that studies "extreme ages". Basically, people that live to be over 110 years old. Ironic part?

It's based out of Inglewood, California.

That's like having a company that studies igloos base themselves in the Mojave Desert.

Never A Good Sign

When you go to the doctor's, and he walks in, takes a look at you, takes a look at your chart and says "Okay, so - you are 44 years old..."

And you have to correct him and say "Uh, I'm actually 34."

Ouch.

Black Widows

There's this story in the news around these here parts about two old women who are facing life in jail for pulling life insurance policy scams. From my understanding, these women found homeless guys, took them in, took out huge life insurance policies on them, and then staged hit and run accidents to kill them and collect the life insurance money.

This leads me to 2 questions -

1) My older post "Out Crazying the Crazies", did I inadvertently step in the middle of this plot???

but, more importantly:

2) How the hell did this get past the planning stage???? No one said "This will never work." No one said "This is a little too obvious." No one said "Hey, maybe we should use NON-HOMELESS PEOPLE TO REDUCE THE SUSPICIOUSNESS OF THIS ENTERPRISE!?!"

And really - when just one of these crazy old bats takes out a huge life insurance policy on just ONE homeless guy that she just freakin' met, how does no one jump to the most obvious conclusion? And yet two old women did this, apparently quite a few times!

So here's what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna go down to Hollywood Toys & Costumes and buy the scariest werewolf costume I can find. Then I'm going to go to the nearest amusement park and I'm going to run around and growl at people. Then the next morning I'm going to show up at the owner's office and offer to buy the place on the cheap.

Then all I have to worry about are some meddling kids and their dog.